Rewind

Jan 5 - Jan 9, 2004 | Jan 12 - Jan 16, 2004 |
Jan 19 - Jan 23, 2004 |

Jan 19 - Jan 23, 2004

Seah Kar Huat’s Take [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Take 1
You may have heard of people dyeing their hair as 1 way to celebrate the Chinese New Year. In the year of the Monkey, the Chinese in Shenyang, China have obviously taken the practice to new heights. According to AFP, the monkeys that reside at the Forest Safari Park become the new attractions as they have been dyed in multi colours including bright red and yellow. One of the staff even told the press that dyeing the monkeys was no easy tasks due to their active nature, and you’d have thought the monkeys were just as ‘dyeing’ to celebrate the new year with the humans. [^top]

Take 2
Singapore’s well known for the strict laws and regulations and you can easily buy a “Singapore is a FINE city” T-shirt in some of the local tourist spots. Now, we have a newly added title of being the city with the highest death penalty per capita in the world. Yahoo! Singapore cited a report from Amnesty International, a human rights group, stating that 408 people were given the death sentence since 1991. It seems the Changi Prison can easily give its counterpart, the world-renowned Changi Airport, a run for its money. [^top]

Take 3
Winston Churchill, the late Prime Minister of Britain during World War II, has left his words of wisdom through the mouth of a bird. According to TODAYonline, Charlie, a blue and gold macaw, bought by Churchill way back in 1937, just cannot seem to keep her mouth shut. Though at a ripe old age of 104 and possibly the oldest bird in Britain, Charlie can still be heard cursing “F*** Hitler” and “F*** the Nazis”. Mr. James Hume, an expert on the late Prime Minister, said it best, “Churchill may no longer be with us but that spirit and those words of defiance and resolve continue.” [^top]

Take 4
A taxi had plunged into a swimming pool of a condominium along Oxford Road during the Chinese New Year holidays. The Straits Times reported that the taxi had to remain partially submerged in the pool for another day as the management and residents’ committee of the estate had decided that towing the taxi out of the pool hastily may just damage the pool and the surroundings. Meanwhile, CityCab had a crane on standby to tow the taxi out once the pool has been drained. This may just be the perfect message for taxi operators in Singapore to cool down in the increasingly competitive market, which has seen new entrants in recent months. [^top]

Take 5
In Sao Paulo, Brazil, celebrating the city’s 450th birthday was no easy feat. According to Associated Press, a 450m long birthday cake was made for the occasion and the cake filled the streets and of course, attracted hundreds of people to the event. The purpose was not only to have a glimpse of the cake but evidently, to have a taste of it too. But with hundreds of people waiting to get a bite, getting a slice wasn’t a piece of cake. [^top]

Jan 12 - Jan 16

Ronald Wan's Take [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Take 1
Before Saddam Hussein was caught idling his days in a spider hole, the Iraqis tore down his statues, slapped his portraits with their dirty slippers. Now that he's safe behind bars, they want to erm…stamp him out of their postage stamps, according to a report in The Straits Times.

Iraq's post-war postal system has decided to get rid of Saddam's image (even his former image was nicer than what we see of him in papers now) on their stamps and replace him with images of traditional modes of Iraqi transport.

"The new stamps represent the true identity of Iraq," said Iraqi interim Communications Minister Haidar-al-Abadi in the article.

Perhaps he should consider putting images of Bush standing in Iraqi oilfields instead, because that can truly be the new Iraqi identity. [top^]

Take 2
Style maverick Mr Blackwell has pencilled Paris Hilton, leading actress of a recent hotel sex video, as the worst dresser on his annual list of worst dressed women, as reported on E! Online. Blackwell quips, "From cyber disgrace to red-carpet chills - she's the vapid Venus of Beverly Hills!"

We're pretty sure Paris won't mind what Blackwell said, because after all, she's not known for her glamorous clothes, or rather, the lack of them. Still clueless? Just check out her dirty video. [top^]

Take 3
The Straits Times reported that more than 1,000 pairs of red and pink undergarments were bought since late December because they seem to be the "in" thing for the Chinese New Year.

"According to Chinese belief, wearing red underwear, especially in the Year of the Monkey, will bring you good luck because some monkeys have red butts," said shop owner Jeanette Chong of ButtOn Trendy Undies at Bugis Village. Dig this - there are even monkey cartoons featured on the underwear.

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "monkey business". [top^]

Take 4
Times have changed - women don't need either vibrator or men to obtain an orgasm, just the simple touch of a button, according to The Straits Times. Slightest Touch, a device that is supposed to induce an intense orgasm in women without even touching the genitalia, is working wonders. All they (the horny women) had to do is to drink an electrolyte sports drink 20 min before using the device and then apply 2 white electrode pads discreetly on the inside of their ankles. Next time you are found somewhere near these women, make sure you push the right buttons. [top^]

Take 5
It seems like a dream come true for the makers of Yumeni Kobo, a device made by a Japanese company that claims to be able to provide sleep-time stories on demand, or simply put, create dreams for customers, according to The Straits Times.

The invention makes use of a voice recording, along with lights, music and smells to help dreamers direct their dreams during periods of sleep. Before you know it, the age of workaholic or karaoke lounge-camping Japanese salarymen may be over as they all rush home to sleep. Now that's gonna be a nightmare for businesses. [top^]

Jan 5 - Jan 9, 2004

Valerie Wee's Take [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Take 1
A man who tried to break into a home in Medellin, Colombia by packing himself in a box found himself in a fix when security guards found the carton too heavy to lift. According to The Straits Times, the guards, suspecting the parcel contained a bomb called the local bomb squad. While the squad examined the package, the burglar cut through the cardboard with a knife and waved it at the squad. The men on the squad quickly opened the package to find a terrified man gasping for air – he had forgotten to punch holes in the box so he could breathe. Here’s where thinking of coming out of the box landed a guy into trouble. [top^]

Take 2
“Oops! I don’t” is what Britney Spears did 55 hours after marrying old friend Jason Allen Alexander. The marriage that took place in a Las Vegas chapel, where Spears was escorted down the aisle by her limo driver, quickly came to an end when the pop singer filed for annulment. According to BBC.com, Spears’ lawyer stated that she wasn’t drunk at the time of the ceremony. Instead, the newly weds came to the decision that they were rather incompatible for each other and are now, just friends. Let’s hope she’s learnt her lesson and there won’t be another case of ‘Oops! I did it again’. [top^]

Take 3
Well-known crocodile hunter Steve Irwin is being accused of bad parenting after he performed a stunt of holding his month-old son in one arm while feeding a crocodile whole chickens with the other. Streats reported that the accusations starting rolling in from child welfare organisations, and Irwin met even more criticism after he gave pathetic excuses for his stunt being the need to “croc-savvy” his children. Didn’t he learn from Michael Jackson that putting even your own infants in mortal danger is just Bad? [top^]

Take 4
The wife of President Ricardo Maduro of Honduras caused quite a stir after she cost her husband a Minister. Erstwhile Culture Minister Mireya Batres quit after she was invited and then had the invite withdrawn to a political reception because her presence made First Lady Aguas Ocanas uncomfortable, The Straits Times reported. Last year Ms Batres sucked in her pride when the First Lady openly criticised her husband for naming her Culture Minister, but enough was enough when Ms Batres arrived at the palace and was told to leave. This is one first lady who brooks no second. [top^]

Take 5
An Elvis impersonator who goes by the name of “Shelvis” broke the Guinness World Record for singing 40 hours, 8 minutes and 2 seconds of consecutive Elvis songs at a marathon in Beirut – beating the previous record by more than 15 hours. According to The Straits Times, Shezad “Shelvis” Eikmeier who donned an Elvis costume, paused for only 30 seconds between songs and 15 minutes in 4 hour intervals, when he brushed his teeth, ate and slept. By the end of it all “Shelvis” could barely speak. Guess he’ll be spending the following days doing “A little less conversation”. [top^]