Rewind 1: Why bail out when you can mail out.

If ever you find yourself in the situation where you can’t bail yourself out of trouble, you might want to try mailing yourself out.

That was exactly what a 42-year-old Turkish prison inmate in western Germany did. BBC News reported that he had packed himself into a box about 150 cm by 120 cm, which was then sent out along with items produced by the inmates for sale.

After a short distance past the prison walls, he escaped the express courier truck by ripping the canvas sheet covering the truck. The driver who noticed the flapping canvas contacted the prison.

Imagine the look on the shopkeeper’s face had he opened a box to find a prisoner within. Are you hiring?

Rewind 2: Getting back to you.

Ever noticed how often the people around us complain about things, everything in fact? If you think you’ve heard some of the most ridiculous complaints in the world, get this.

The Associate Press reported that a 48-year-old man attempted to rob a bank in Springettsbury, USA. As the robbery took place early in the morning, the teller’s cash drawers hadn’t been filled yet, prompting the man to lodge a written complaint to the bank’s management before leaving the premises.

The man was later arrested about 10 blocks away from the bank.

Indeed, the next time you rob a bank, do insist on leaving behind your particulars so the management can respond to your grouses. He might also want to take a leaf out the Turkish man’s books if he lands in jail.

Rewind 3: Think twice, if at all.
For some time now governments the world over have been struggling with what to do with the world’s oldest profession.

Now according to BBC News reports, the British Home Office has come up with a solution, announcing, “We want to send a clear message to force men to think twice before sex.”

Now, why didn’t we think of that earlier? Perhaps it’s because men are more likely to have sex twice before thinking, than to think twice before having sex.

Rewind 4: Caught in a sticky situation.
Remember when mummy used to say, “Wash your hands before and after meals”? Apparently 33-year-old Bernard Wood forgot what mummy said all those years ago.

The Associated Press reported that he was nabbed when his fingerprints matched those found on an orange juice bottle at the scene of a breaking and entering crime.

Wood was found guilty on 3 counts of burglary and 2 counts of grand larceny. Apart from stealing valuables, he was said to have raided all his victims’ refrigerators; which eventually led to his arrest when the grease off a piece of half-eaten chicken that was found next to the aforementioned OJ bottle.

I suppose he wasn’t listening when mummy said not to take other people’s things either.

Rewind 5: We’re poor, but at least we look good.

The next time you pop by Brazil you might find that the person digging through trash looks vaguely like a model out of a Victoria Secrets catalogue. Don’t blame the economic downturn but the Brazilian Society of Aesthetic Medicine for this.

USA Today reported that the Brazilian Society of Aesthetic Medicine is offering free BOTOX treatments to those who earn less than USD 250 ($382) per month. So, what’s the catch? Trainees will be conducting the treatment and the “BOTOX” used is a generic brand made in China and not approved in the US.

So on top of possibly looking perpetually shocked, these poorer “patients” might just get injected with melamine. You can either see it as Brazil’s way of beautifying the streets or eradicating poverty.